srettig24 I’m doing something highly irregular. First off, I’m wishing myself a Happy Birthday. I know, very twenty first century lady of me. Second, I am telling my age to everyone on the internet. Bold choice one might say, but I have spent the last year writing down the top lessons that I’ve learned over the course of my life. More than a quarter life of my life is gone. What have I learned? What can I give to people younger and dare I say… older than me? This is my 25 contributions I challenge you to write down a lesson for every year of your life. What have you learned, and more than that: what do you want to teach others?
Lesson 1: Learn how to laugh at yourself
Life is never going to be fun when you take yourself too seriously. It’s important to be able to bounce back from failure and learn from your mistakes with a laugh. Laughing at my mistakes helps me center myself and remember that being perfect and correct isn’t the goal, life is messy and mistakes happen- it’s about attitude.
Lesson 2: Only you can advocate for yourself
As you get older this becomes more apparent; as you move from high school to maybe college then to being a ‘full-fledged adult’ (Whatever that means). Still you can’t expect people to meet your needs, help you get opportunities and know what’s in your best interest. Only you can do that for yourself. If there is something that you want, sure people can be a helping hand- but your dreams are in your hands. Better get building!
Lesson 3:Don’t let a defeatist mindset hold you back
Definitely guilty of this one. All those jobs I didn’t apply for, the perfect internship that I didn’t do because I wanted to make money instead of working for free, the IVY league college I didn’t attend. We all can create never-ending defeatist lists of things to hold us back, but this really doesn’t get us anywhere. Don’t let a defeatist mindset hold you back from taking opportunities to better yourself and fighting for your passions, make doubt take the backseat.
Lesson 4: Create many fresh start, jump-start a clean slate
This one is scientifically backed. New Year resolutions, a move across town or country, a new job or career, the list is endless. Any fresh start helps you change your behavior and your mindset to make changes in your life. When you start something new you aren’t weighted down by the same failures from the past and may feel more motivated to try things out and experiment. A fresh starts can be a huge opportunity for personal growth and development- try not to let life get to stagnant!
Lesson 5:Posture is everything
Posture really is everything, and do not for any reason lock your knees! It’s painful to sit up straight after years of slouching, I would know- I had terrible posture. Don’t fall into this nasty habit, people really do judge you by your appearance and bad posture usually translates to others thinking you lack confidence. Make sure to stand up straight to be the capable person you already are.
Lesson 6: Make connections to what you are learning to what you already know
Making connections between what you know and what you are learning is important, improves your memories. If you can bundle your knowledge about a specific subject matter together in your mind you will likely retain that information better for longer. Try not to conceptualize new knowledge through your old perspective try to allow your perspectives to evolve and change.
Lesson 7: YOU get to control your Narrative
You get to control the narrative about your life, how you see yourself, and how you choose to interact with the world. I think that this is the best gift that we have in life- the freedom to see ourselves the way we want and make our own choices. When life feels heavy and frustrating I remind myself I can change whenever I want. I find this to be a freeing and empowering thought.
Lesson 8: It always pays to do your Research
Whether it’s trying to buy a new sim card or trying to pick which restaurant to eat at, it can be difficult to push through decision fatigue. So some research ahead of time. Being spontaneous can be fun, but doing your research can save you and your wallet. Haste makes waste ya’ll. Just taking 5 minutes to google your question might really change the game- and make you a trivia god along the way.
Lesson 9: It’s always worth it to show that you care
In other words, you have to give to get. While it might be awkward and uncomfortable to show some emotion to others if you don’ t know how someone will react but- chances are the reaction will be positive. Simply, I do think that if you send out positive and warm energy to others- that energy will return to you!
Lesson 10:When you fail- re-asses, re-align and re-ignite your passion
Don’t let failure be defeat. Re-asses the situation- maybe things have changed. Things may be different than when you started. Re-align your expectations and strategy with what you want to accomplish. Remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing in the first place! Re-igniting your passions will give you that energy and drive to reach your goal.
Lesson 11: Listen well
You can learn so much by listening to others and hearing what they say and don’t. Listening is one of the simplest and most impactful things we can do better ourselves and our relationships- do yourself a favor and listen well.
Lesson 12: The second you think, “I can’t do this” you can’t
Have you ever been exercising either alone or with a class and just thought, “I can’t do this”. I know I have. Wow, it takes every ounce of me to keep trying, to keep going and try to finish. Now, this is easier in a room full of people- because of social pressure. But this lesson can be applied to other things as well. The second you think, “I won’t get that award”, “I’m not good enough at my job to do xyz which seems really cool” is the exact second that you can’t because you already told yourself you can’t. It’s a done deal.
Lesson 13: Let things go- I’m serious!
This one is often easier said than done. It can be hard to let things go especially if you have a long memory. Or if you are like me, become easily personally invested in things and want everything to meet your overly high standards because you just care SOO much. My biggest tip would be just stop taking things personally. When you stop taking everything as an assault on your personage, chances are things will become easier to let go of. Try and follow the 5×5 rule- if something isn’t going to matter in 5 years don’t spend more than 5 minutes thinking about it.
Lesson 14: Be open-minded but don’t be easily swayed
You are not obligated to take to heart anything someone tells you. So why not listen to their ideas and experiences? It costs you nothing! Worst case scenario you keep thinking you are right, best case you look at the world differently and see things through a perceptive you thing improves your world view.
Lesson 15: Just say NO
When you don’t have time, or more often, just don’t want to- just say no. It takes more energy to try to get out of a commitment that we never wanted to do in the first place, than to just say no in the first place. While making the initial rejection might be difficult and uncomfortable, saying no just allows us to focus our energy on our priorities.
Lesson 16: You can’t have it all.
I know how dare I say this! Society is always telling you that you don’t have to choose- you can simply have it all. It takes a lot of effort to make our lives look the way we want and it doesn’t happen overnight. I want to be optimistic as much as the next guy but failure, setbacks, and well, bad luck happens to all of us! With goals and dreams aim for quality not quantity. Try and reduce the multi-tasking of your life agenda. As a result you might be successful reaching a few dreams instead of somewhat successful in reaching a lot of dreams.
Lesson 17: No one actually knows what they are doing.
Don’t let other people fool you. No one has it all together and knows what they are doing. Religion and ideology aside, We Humans, don’t know the meaning of life or what we are supposed to be doing here. Rest easy in the knowledge the rat race doesn’t exist and the perfect elevator pitch on holidays on how everything is going to “help you in 5 years to reach your full potential” is just a false sense of security.
Lesson 18: Sun Protection is vital: Sunglasses, Sunscreen, the whole 9 yards, baby
I might have arrived at the sunscreen party a bit late. Don’t make my mistakes and start applying sunscreen today. Also, sunglasses were created for a reason and over exposure to the sun does actually impact your eyes. Take preventative measures to protect your health. This is one of those no brainer things that you will thank yourself for in the future.
Lesson 19: Just Breathe
Just breathe. It’s crazy how much taking a deep breath can help until you try it yourself. If you are feeling even a little clenched, the best solution is the easiest one. Just take a deep breathe, after all your life depends on it.
Lesson 20: Take up a life-long sport
You might be wondering, what the heck is a life-long ‘sport’? It’s pretty simple- it’s a physical activity that you can do throughout your life even into old age for example yoga, golf, swimming, jogging or walking, and bowling. Physical movement into old age is great for your body so why this is important is a no brainer. Why I recommend adding something like this to your lifestyle is because of the community aspect. You don’t often bowl or golf alone. These activities allow us to see and make friends and engage with a community, making it good for our bodies and our mental health as well.
Lesson 21: Don’t let fear run your life.
There is a reason that Batman is a superhero. He overcame a crippling fear of bats and harnessed his inner strength to become a superhero. I’m not saying gaslight yourself here- I’m saying acknowledge your fears and if it feels worthwhile work through your fears to accomplish your goal! Life is pretty scary, but sometimes what scares us most can be our superpower.
Lesson 22: Know your Values
Look, I’m not out here on my soap box preaching religion or anything but know your values. Once you know your values you can maintain your boundaries. If you have a clear sense of your values and boundaries people will likely have more respect for you. We are getting pushed and pulled in many different directions knowing your values will anchor you. Knowing your values allows you to a sense of personal integrity and taps into your self respect.
Lesson 23: Ask People for their Stories
This one I really stumbled into. While traveling I met some amazing people and I realized what a gift it was to listen to people’s stories. Coming together with people in a space and hearing people share stories that shaped them, make them laugh or morn. Do yourself a favor and ask someone to share a story with you.
Lesson 24: Know when to Complain
Sometimes you just have to accept that’s how the cookie crumbled. Complain with its going to benefit you otherwise don’t bother. I think of complaining through the law of diminishing returns. Venting to a friend sometimes can be satisfying but can loose its value quickly.
Lesson 25: You can Always Make More Money
Ouf. This one. Got a ways to go with this one. Talking about money and the cost of things is tacky and relating to complaining will be annoying to others. Everything always works out, as long as you aren’t being careless. Have some money sense and remember that we only have one life and all of us can always find a way to make more money.
